No crank no start

Hello, the push button does nothing and no crank when you try to start this car. We found a relay (black 4 prong) under passenger side under glove box. We thought it was the starter relay. It is black in color and has 4 prongs. We tried to jump it to close the circuit and right after that all the headlights, brake light, interior lights, and windshield wipers turned on and wont turn off. The car was off and all these lights, even dome light stayed on. We had to disconnect the battery so it would not loose its charge.
Did we ruin the computer? Also it will not shift. The shifter will not move. Car still no start and its automatic. Any help appreciated.
I don't think that was a starter relay as we thought. Someone said module relay. It's square and looks like a relay. Please help I will put a picture of this part on later.
The black relay we jumped was the only one of that color under the passenger glove box.I saw a video on you tube and said this is really not a relay but looks just like one. Its called a "car access module" I have no idea what it does but it looks just like a 4 prong square relay. We jumped this part to close the switch from one pin to another. That's when all the lights came on and wipers and dome lights and car would not shift (shifter would not move). Some people replace this to start car.I think we ruined something jumping this as with the car off, and after jumping this part, all the lights and wipers stay on all the time and shifter wont move. Here is the black BMW 2008 328i relay we jumped with small jumper wire, then car was possed after plugging relay back in. All lights stayed on (headlights, brake, dome lights), on with car off and automatic shifter wont move now and windshield wipers also stay on with car off?This relay is behind glove compartment passenger side. Upper right. Only black relay on fuse board. Its square and small says 30 on it on relay location Please help!