1995 BMW 525i fuel pump question

I replaced the fuel pump and the sending unit on this car. I am positive that the new pump works. I am getting no power to the fuel pump fuse. After applying power to the fuse directly, and verifying that the pump activates, I am getting no fuel out of the tank. The car was running when I began this project, but would fail to start 6 out of ten times after turning off the engine. When this occurred, I would pop the trunk and hit the trunk with my hand where the fuel sending unit was located. The car would start immediately, running rough until I got the car rpm's up a bit, and then smooth out. Without jumped power to the fuel pump fuse, there was power to the relay, but not the fuel pump fuse. With the relay removed, and then jumping the terminals where the fuel pump relay was located, I would get power to the fuse, but it still would not start. I traced the power under these conditions, and had power to the back seat where the fuel pump wires ran through the body, and to the plug for the fuel sending unit. No power at the plug. So I only get power to the plug at the sending unit if I jump power at the fuel pump fuse, but still get no fuel out of the sending unit. No check engine light comes on at any time, the fusible links are fine. Could the computer be telling the car not to start? Could I have a bad ground wire attached to the tank preventing the fuel from comming out of the sending unit even after applying direct power to the pump. I desperately need more than a short answer. Even some specific steps or troubleshooting steps would be helpful. I had a certified mechanic with me throughout all of this, however, he is primarily a diesel mechanic, and we are working only with jumper wires, a test light, and volt meter. He has pulled the pump and sending unit out of the car over and over as we followed leads and tips given to us over the phone from repair shops. What do you think is creating this issue given all the information above. What are the proper troubleshooting steps? My technician friend is still suspicious of the relay, the relay block, the tank grounds, and the idea that the computer is controlling the pressure regulator, which is part of the sending unit assembly, thus keeping the operating fuel pump, that is in a tank with plenty of gas from pumping the fuel.