Which is the Engine Cooling Fan Motor Relay?

Actually the issue is usually that the airflow starts to lift the hood and then you hit a bump and the safety latch fails. The air grabs the hood and folds it back over the windshield. That commonly destroys the hood, dents the roof and many times it breaks the windshield.
I would use the temperature gun to check the actual temperatures.

Yep, those would be normal. The coolant temperature in most modern cars runs well over 200 degrees. For example your thermostat is supposed to start opening at about 180-190 degrees and be fully open at 210 degrees. The cooling fan or fans are normally set up one of 2 ways. A single fan with two speeds or two fans that engage at different temperatures. In both cases it's normal for the fan to come on a low speed around 215-220 degrees, then kick to high speed around 235 degrees. So they will be very hot if you touch anything in there. Totally normal.