1995 Volkswagen Jetta 1995 Jetta GL Automatic Transmission

I have had this problem with my trans for some time now. The problem is the trans shifts hard (kicks when it shifts) and I have to rev up to 3,300 rpm to shift from 1st to 2nd gear and 4,100-4,200 rpm to get it to shift to 3rd and 4th. The trans failed about 50-60,000 miles ago and installed a different rebuilt trans into my car. Worked for a while then started in with these problems. Contacted the guy I bought the trans from and he said the valve body was the problem and sent me a rebuilt one. I installed the valve body and changed the fluid. I have all the torques correct. One thing I am unsure about is the ATF level (I added a total of appox. 4qt. My theory is the total ATF level is around 5.5-6qt.). I could not find any information on it because the trans has no way to fully drain down short of pumping it out and it is lacking a dip stick, which was stated in countless literature. I did drain as much as I could when I replaced the valve body, and I maybe got 3-4 qt. Out of it appox. Maybe more, not for sure; never measured the amount after draining, it looked close to that sitting in my pan. When I filled the trans I found a plug which I deduced that was the overflow/fill level and fill point. I used the same type/brand of ATF with one slight difference. It was for high mileage, other than that it was a mirror of the ATF used when the trans was first filled/installed. Anyway here is my problem. After I changed the valve body and ATF I test drove my car, at first I was still having to rev it up to shift gears but the trans was not kicking anymore, after a few miles of driving it started working like it should, shifting so smooth I couldn't notice it if I was looking at the tac, and shifting around 2,200 rpm from gear to gear. Also had a lot more power, i.E. Getting better acceleration and better pedal response. I thought, due to delay in the trans working correctly, that the valve body had to build the fluid pressure in it because it was new(rebuilt) and I did the ATF change. Did not drive it much after that, parked the car and was quite happy with myself for fixing it. About 6 hours later I drive to the store, about 8 miles away, worked perfectly on the way there. I was in the store for about 1 1/2 hrs, and start to drive home. And I notice the trans is back to its old self shifting hard and making me rev it up to 4k rpm to shift. I have tried countless things to see if I could get it working again but with no success. This included checking ATF fluid level again, disconnecting the battery for around 30sec to attempt to reset the computers, checking the trans differental oil level (which was way to high, pumped it out and filled to the correct level. I did notice the speedometer drive gear where it connects to the pulser, the squared hole in the gear axle was reamed out to almost a circle about 1/8 inch deep and after that 1st 1/8th it looked fine.), And Unpluging the trans computer under the rear driver's side seat (which after I unplugged and connected it I drove it, still shifting wierd, and then I unplugged the thing and drove with it disconnected with no change in the car). Needly to say is I am stummped, I am a decent mechanic but transmissions are beyond me.