Revs high wont shift, mostly cold start.

You didn't bother to list the engine size, transmission type, or mileage, so I can't make any generalizations based on those things. The best I can do is guess you have an automatic transmission and it's slipping due to wear in the clutch packs which is a factor related to high mileage. If that is correct, continuing to force the car to move will cause damage to other parts that may not need to be replaced now. You need to visit a transmission specialty shop to get a professional opinion. Whatever problem your car has, they will have seen it before and will be able to advise you appropriately.

This is why you need a professional diagnosis. When I can't see or drive the car, I too am guessing.

As far as the years, I have a very reliable '88 Grand Caravan with 272,000 miles that I use to drag around a huge tandem axle enclosed trailer that's bigger than the van. This is the original transmission that has never needed a single repair. I also have a '95 model with half as many miles and it's on its second replacement transmission. They are seven years apart and are not the same transmission. The same is true about your cars, so don't try to draw any parallels there. The newer a car gets, the more complicated the transmission gets, and the more likely you are to have problems.

At the mileage you listed, it's not uncommon to need a transmission rebuild. From what you described, it sounds like that's what you need, but I want a specialist to tell you that. Don't go by what I'm guessing.

If I'm right, continuing to try to make the car move with a slipping transmission will seriously overheat all the rotating parts inside it and result in many of those parts needing to be replaced too.