Starter relay location needed

I replaced my starter, alternator and battery and have a no crank no start issue now. It went in VATS mode. I'm trying to locate the starter relay can you help please? And maybe tell me how to turn the VATS off. I have tried jumping the ignition wires with a capacitor and it cranked once. My key has a chip in it and i'm wondering if it is bad or because I have no remote then the vats isn't letting me communicate with the ECM. I have spent over $2,000.00 on it in the past 5 weeks. It is frustrating me being a widow isn't easy in this world. Thank God I grew up with 8 brothers and learned all I could about cars. But never came across anything like this before. Car listed above is a ZR1.