Replacement engine at 3,000 RPM's the car starts jumping and loses power

P2646 can be the solenoid but it can also be the wiring circuit to it that causes the problem. For instance the position sensor could be bad and the ECU thinks the solenoid is bad because the position sensor reports it stuck off.
What did the 2.2 come out of? What other parts were changed to make it work and was it running okay and then this happened or did this start right after the swap?
With answers to those questions I may be able to give you a better answer.

What were the random electrical issues you were having? It sounds like you had harness issues before but a description of what was happening may narrow down the area. I don't find a CR-V with a 2.2 other than a diesel. They do show a 2.0 in them. What did it come out of? Does it have V-Tec? I'm thinking your issue is that the programming is different for the two engines as they use very different versions of V-Tech inside and that is why it doesn't run correctly.

The electrical problems sound like bad grounds. Not normal to replace headlights that often, I consider it excessive if I need to replace them in 2 years! Sounds like there are voltage spikes from a bad ground or two. For the airbag, a scan tool should be able to pull a code even if the light is off. However I believe the rpm issue is because the two engines use a different V-Tec system and the ECU cannot control the system the 2.0 uses correctly. You might be able to use the ECU from a CRV that came with a 2.0 in it. However it would depend on which vehicle your 2.0 came from. They built a performance 2.0 with both intake and exhaust V-tec and a base version that used only intake side changes, plus the cams have different lobes as well. If you have the performance version it is likely that the V-Tec activation is pushing the system to activate the system but yours is the wrong one. What you could try is to disconnect the V-Tec solenoid and see if the issue stops. If it does then that is likely the problem.

The thing is that if unplugging the solenoid does make it better just confirms that the mismatch is the issue. It may make it into something you can at least drive without the bucking. From there it would depend on what you wanted to do. It might be possible to put a computer from a CRV that had the 2.0 in it and make it work.

Take a few pictures of the leaks and we can try to assist with those. I'm still waiting for either a star trek transporter or a robot mechanic that would allow someone to do mobile repair.

The alternator shouldn't be an issue if it was working before. Yeah holidays can be a bear without a vehicle or when it's "in the spa". Been through similar things in the past.