1998 Honda Accord Crazy Car

I got in the car to leave work today and turned on the headlights. Which turned on the wipers. I tried to turn off wipers and they would not turn off. Also the left headlight would not turn on. It gets better. The left turn signal would not blink and the turn signal light on the dash panel turned on. Also the windshield wiper fluid would not spray with the head light on. If the headlights were off I could spray the fluid. I tried all fuses nothing, tired chaging head light bulbs, nothing. Unplugged battery, nothing. The only way the wipers stop is with headlights off or the left light unpluged. Please help I do not understand what is wrong with my car.