1999 Honda Accord LX stalls in motion

For the last 2-3 yrs, my pre-owned 99 Honda Accord LX (automatic) has stalled sometimes while I brake to slow or stop and, once I a while, while I am sitting in traffic. I hear/feel the idle speeding up or slowing down, the rpm gauge seems to shoot up just before it happens but I haven't always noted rpms when it happens. It happens more during local, city driving within the first 5-25 minutes of driving but it has happened once or twice when the car was driving for longer on the highway. Exit ramps and traffic lights are the main places it stalls. I usually have trouble restarting - it turns over but stalls right away - and have to wait 5 minutes and then it'll start up and not stall at all for days or weeks. It has never happened when my husband drives the car but it has happened when I drive and when my mom drives it.

I have left it at my mechanic's and at a Honda Dealer for weeks at a time so they can diagnose the problem but they can never duplicate it and only suggest we start replacing things until something fixes it.

We have already replaced the ignition and the distributor and no change. (The original ignition was recalled).

Is that really the best route (replacing things until it's fixed)? What else can I try? Could it be the way I drive (press the pedal, etc)? It is a serious safety issue for my family and we are ready to buy a new car out of desperation.

All advice is welcome.
Thanks!