1998 BMW 528 coolant in engine compartment

Does the bottom hose eventually get as hot as the upper hose?
If the coolant is sprayed all over, then there is an obvious leak somewhere. You could have a pin hole leak in the coolant hoses anywhere or the radiator may have a pin hole leak somewhere. A way to find this leak (without dealing with hot coolant) is to pressureize the coolant system with compressed air. This is done by installing a special radiator cap, with an air hose fitting, on the radiator and applying compressed air to the system.

I checked it when my wife got home and it was not as hot. As for the leak it doesnt leak all the time but looks like it might be under pressure when it does leak. Can it be clogged radiator or stuck thermostat causing pressure to build up. I'm trying to avoid changing all this and then find out it is head gasket or warped head. thank you for replying

The best way to check the condition of the head gasket (without ripping the head off) is to do a leakdown test and a compression test on all cylinders.
The t-stat is probably stuck also -- causing a build up of pressure. This pressure is leaking out somewhere, worst case, it may be a head gasket -- but test to be sure.