what could cause the idle air control valve to keep failing

Check voltage to the IAC to make sure it is within spec. If you are getting too much power to it, it will burn up. It is nothing but a very small electric solenoid.

Voltage is in proper perameters, iacv is working properly and i just replaced the air sensor, i still have a loud humming noise and car dies once outta 3 times that i open the airbox while engine is running, cpu is not registering any codes and cpu seems to be fine, im at a loss of what this problem could be, it affects performance as well, rpm needles moves around while in neutral as well

The only other thing I can think of is a vacuum leak, unless the fuel pressure regulator isn't working properly.